Sometimes You Just Have To Call Bullsh*t On Yourself

We all spend a great amount of time calling bullsh*t on each other. We talk a lot about how we don?t like lying or lame excuses from other people and that we expect people to say what they mean and do what they say.

But what about ourselves? How much time in a day do you or I spend calling ourselves out on the lies we tell to others and to ourselves?

How many times a day do you say you?re going to do something and you just put it off? How often do you complain about your life, job, or relationships but do absolutely nothing about your situation or mindset to change it?

Aren?t these the very same things we say we won?t tolerate about others?

I?ve started to learn how to call bullsh*t on myself much more often and to tell you the truth, it?s helping me judge others less and motivate myself more.

Is it anyone else?s fault that I didn?t get up super early this morning to work out? Nope. How about that lie I tell myself that if other people didn?t stress me out so much my life would be more peaceful? Um, no. Both of these issues are completely within my own control.

You can spend your entire life blaming other people for your troubles or using them as emotional scapegoats but, in the end, it?s ultimately ourselves as individuals who have to deal with the consequences of our own choices and reactions to life.

This goes for romantic relationships as well. If you?re continually picking people who let you down, perhaps you should either take a break from dating altogether or reconfigure your selection process.

Most of us run on reaction. We spend all day reacting. We react to the flat tire we got on the way to work, the temper tantrum our kid threw on the way to school, the grumpy attitude of our boss, or that inconsiderate thing we think our partner did to us.

We expend so much energy reacting to the things other people do and say that we rarely stop and reset to where we should be ? which is somewhere between knowing our limits and setting boundaries.

If we don?t take the time to evaluate how much of our mental and emotional fuel is spent reacting versus being sincerely engaged then we?re bound to end up drained or irritated.

It?s uncomfortable to say no to people. It can lead to awkwardness. Many of us would rather lie or make up an excuse than actually say, ?No, I don?t want to spend my time doing that.? In fact, we probably use more energy covering up our true feelings or avoiding situations rather than just saying what we really mean.

You don?t have to be rude or arrogant to be honest. You can get to the point and use kind words while being respectful. In the long run, you?ll save yourself so much time, angst, and stress if you just come clean with what you really want and don?t want.

When you run around making random commitments or plans with people without fully wanting to be committed, you?re essentially lying not only to them but to yourself. You may do it because you say you?re a ?people pleaser? but that?s just bullsh*t. The truth is that you just don?t want to deal with the concept of saying no.

Saying no to others doesn?t have to be a negative experience. It can actually teach you and the people around you that your time and energy are valuable.

So, the next time you find yourself being stretched thin and highly irritated at yourself or at others ? stop and reset. Is what you?re doing useful to you or anyone else? Are you lying to yourself or those around you to avoid confrontation?

Don?t be afraid call bullsh*t on yourself. It may improve your life in ways you never thought possible.

More from Michelle: 5 Ways You?re Sabotaging You?re Relationships (And What To Do About It)

Visit Michelle at The Pondering Nook for blogs on life, love, marriage, divorce, parenting, step-parenting, body image & more! Also Catch Michelle co-hosting at The Broad?s Way Podcast on similar topics.

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Stephen Colbert Explains Donald Trump’s Most Frustrating Contradiction

Much of America watched former FBI Director James Comey testify in front of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence on Thursday. Nielsen Media reported around 19.5 million watched on television, but millions more streamed the testimony online since it took place during the typical work day.

President Donald Trump was among those watching ? and he soon publicly addressed the various accusations Comey leveled against him.

?Comey was pretty rough on the president,? Stephen Colbert said ?The Late Show? Friday night. ?But right after the testimony, Trump sent his longtime personal lawyer and devil who has a thing he wants you to sign, Marc Kasowitz to respond.?

The host played a clip of the lawyer claiming that Comey?s testimony vindicated Trump, because in Kasowitz?s words, the former FBI director confirmed publicly what he had told Trump privately. This referred to Trump?s insistence that Comey had told him that he was not under investigation by the FBI.

As a quick refresher into this confusing mess: It is true that when Trump asked Comey whether he was personally under investigation, he was not. But Trump associates were under investigation and Comey?s testimony on Thursday indicated that Trump may be facing an investigation into whether the president obstructed justice.

This is where Kasowitz began an extremely frustrating contradiction, as Colbert explained.

But even though, everything Comey said proved Trump wasn?t guilty, he was also a liar?
Stephen Colbert

?But even though, everything Comey said proved Trump wasn?t guilty, he was also a liar?? Colbert said.

He then played another part of the Kasowitz clip where the lawyer detailed the various ways Comey had allegedly lied during the testimony. 

This bizarre argument tracked with what the president later tweeted.

During his testimony, Comey also called Trump a liar on multiple occasions.

It?s a classic he said, he said (American politics still being dominated by men, of course).

Now you?ve got to choose whether to believe the ?Twin Peaks? character Agent Dale Cooper incarnate in Comey or… well… the apparent ?liar in chief.?

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St. Louis Cardinals Featuring Anti-LGBT Speaker At ‘Christian Day’

This article originally appeared on Outsports

The St. Louis Cardinals will feature Lance Berkman at the club?s ?Christian Day? on Sunday, July 30. Berkman has been an outspoken opponent of the LGBT community, was one of the faces of the campaign against Houston?s equal-rights ordinance, and said that tolerance is what is destroying America. Not terrorism, not civil unrest, not the national debt. Tolerance.

The team has no LGBT or Pride Night planned, but one source with the team told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that they are thinking about having one this year or next year.

The team?s atmosphere for LGBT people came into focus when former Minor League ballplayer Tyler Dunnington revealed that he had heard some very negative comments about gay people in the Cardinals system.

Attendees of ?Christian Day? are asked to support military families by bringing food and other grocery items to donate.

For more St. Louis Cardinals news, visit Viva El Birdos.

For more from OutSports, check out these stories:

Gay former student says BYU forced him into reparative therapy

This is how the New England Patriots came to sponsor the Gay Bowl

This gay athlete at a Christian university is finally breaking free

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NRA TV Host Falsely Claims Kim Kardashian Is Mentally Unfit To Own A Gun

A gun activist for the National Rifle Association suggested some people are mentally unfit to own guns.

Specifically, Kim Kardashian.

Kardashian fired up Colion Noir,  host of a show on NRA TV, the gun-rights group?s video channel, with a June 2 open letter on her website supporting National Gun Violence Awareness Day and ?stricter gun control laws and restricted access to firearms for people with mental illness.?

In a video released June 9 that has since been deleted (but preserved by Media Matters), Noir suggests it?s Kardashian who has mental issues that should prevent her from gun ownership.

?Kim, let?s be real. You have a book of selfies. You are the epitome of a narcissist, which, last I checked, narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness. Not to mention your self-admitted dealings with anxiety and the PTSD you suffered from being robbed at gunpoint.

?My dear, you have several mental illnesses. So should we make your name number 75,001 of people who should not be allowed to own guns? Then again, you are an elitist of the highest order, so I?m sure you?d consider yourself an exception.?

Kardashian expressed disbelief in her open letter that Congress recently revoked a law designed to keep guns away from the mentally ill.

She stressed she?s not against gun ownership. After she was robbed at gunpoint in Paris in October, she said she knows ?how important it is to be safe and have armed security.?

Kardashian discussed her experience with gun violence last month on ?Keeping Up With The Kardashians.? She reportedly still cries and has flashbacks to the violence. 

Research on bank tellers and others who experience workplace robbery suggests this is a common reaction to being victimized by violence.  

It should be noted that Kardashian has admitted seeing a mental health professional for help with anxiety, a condition which affects more than 40 million American adults.

It should also be noted that Noir is a Texas-based lawyer, not a mental health professional.

Noir didn?t immediately respond to HuffPost?s request for comment on the video, which can be seen below. 

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HuffPost Headline Quiz: June 2 to June 8

From former FBI Director James Comey?s testimony before Congress to the U.K.?s general election, a lot happened this week. 

See how well you know the week?s top stories below: 

Want to ace the answers to this news quiz? Subscribe to HuffPost?s Morning Email.

Also, don?t forget to try our quiz on Google Home!

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Move Over ‘Hamilton,’ D.C. Just Debuted ‘Trump’

WASHINGTON ? Summer theater means different things in different parts of America. In the suburbs, it?s dinner theater. In New York, it?s Shakespeare in the Park. In New England, it?s summer stock.

In Washington, it?s gavel-to-gavel investigative hearings on Capitol Hill.

After a series of low-level tryouts, ?Trump? opened big Thursday on D.C.?s version of Broadway ? a packed Senate hearing room ? with the earnest but venomous testimony of the former FBI director, James Comey.

Within minutes of being sworn in, he?d called the man who fired him, President Donald Trump, a congenital liar; accused the president of trying to pressure him into shutting down probes into possible campaign collusion with Russia; and hinted that, while Trump was not originally an investigative target, he might end up being one, if for no other reason than he may be obstructing justice.

The semicircle of senators in the Senate Intelligence Committee hearing room were largely in the background, framing the scene like the kicking chorus line in a boffo opening number.

They asked soft, obvious, or beside-the-point questions of a literally towering figure (he stands 6 foot 8), who is self-righteous and too clever for his own good, but who could and did easily make them look foolish when they meekly tried to nail him.

Meanwhile, across town, an uncharacteristically subdued Trump spoke to a roomful of Christian political conservatives, while keeping fingers away (for a few minutes) from his Twitter account. Without mentioning Comey, Russia, Senate hearings or special counsels, the president declared that he would fight and always win, and that America?s future was great.

No one expects this meek silence to continue, no matter how gravely Trump?s New York lawyer and friend, Marc Kasowitz, admonishes him.

No, this was just the opening scene of a many-act play that will unfold over coming months or even years, and that is now a permanent feature of the Trump years, however long they last.

It?s the way of Washington now. 

In the Clinton years, a real estate controversy called Whitewater morphed into the Lewinsky scandal, and then metastasized into an impeachment and trial. The whole process consumed seven years, during which Bill Clinton won election and re-election.

This time, there are five investigations underway about Russia?s interference in the 2016 presidential campaign, and whether Trump or what he calls his ?satellites? knew about or colluded with efforts that U.S. intelligence officials have traced directly to Russian leader Vladimir Putin.

Probes are being conducted by the FBI; the larger intelligence ?community,? including the National Security Agency; the Senate Intelligence Committee; the House Intelligence Committee; the House Oversight Committee, and, of course the new special counsel, jut-jawed Robert Mueller.

All of these entities have subpoena power, or can get it through others, and all have long and overlapping lists of witnesses they want to investigate in private and in public.

They can and ultimately will, at the end of the play, answer the fateful question, one of the most serious that can be asked here: Did a foreign power, a malevolent and hostile one at that, have witting and willing partners in Trump or his circle?

And there are the other urgent final questions in any Washington drama: Did the president try to cover up what he and others knew and did, and did he obstruct justice in a way that could get him impeached by the House and convicted by the Senate?

Trump and Comey together insured this production would go big-time because of mutual distrust.

On Jan. 6 in Trump Tower, the then-FBI director stayed behind after a security briefing to warn the president-elect about the existence of a soon-to-be published FBI source memo with ?salacious? but uncorroborated accusations about him. Comey wanted to be candid and helpful, and not come off as a ?J. Edgar Hoover? clone threatening others, he testified.

Trump furiously denied the accusations in the FBI source?s memo ? and almost certainly immediately concluded that Comey was a serious threat. Comey, for his part, said he went into that meeting knowing that he had to memorialize it afterward, because of what he already knew about Trump?s character. 

That memo-writing habit helped Comey make the opening act such a smash hit. He?s not a choir boy, though he would like to meet that standard, even if playing bureaucratic hardball is the only way to do it.  

He disclosed in the hearing that he had leaked word of Trump?s pressuring him so that Attorney General Jeff Sessions would have no choice but to appoint a special counsel to take over. Mission accomplished.

But Comey is only the first of many potential antagonists likely to appear. Other potential main characters include:

  • Sessions, who recused himself from the Russia probe because of his own contacts with the Putin crowd, and who, in doing so, earned Trump?s enmity and suspicions. Does Sessions leave, and if so, what will he then say?

  • Former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn, a Putin pal and Russophile whom everyone but Trump distrusted, and whose financial dealings may make him vulnerable.

  • The ?Satellites.? These are the people Trump views as his aides, advisers and hangers-on. They are people he depends on, but from whom he keeps legal and functional distance. It?s the operating method of spies and the mob. As Comey vividly explained Thursday, if you ?turn over rocks? in an FBI or other investigation, you may find that people have committed crimes unrelated to the main issue at hand, in this case Russia collusion. These perps can then be ?flipped and squeezed? to tell what they know.

  • Putin. He has denied all, and recently in Moscow somehow managed to work conspiracy theories about the Kennedy assassination into his answer. The world troll of democracy is eager to play in the American media, and is enjoying his role as defender of due process for his beleaguered comrade in authoritarian arms, Trump.

  • Republicans. GOP members of the Senate Intelligence Committee for the most part went meekly before Comey. They didn?t attack him much, and they did not defend Trump much, either. Will that change, in one direction or the other, and if so, when? We?ve got months to go to get a real answer ? perhaps even until after the 2018 midterm elections.

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This Magical Shape-Shifting Furniture Makes Space In Tiny Apartments

Imagine making your bed disappear at the push of a button.

That?s what Ori, a robotic furniture system designed for tiny apartments, would allow you to do. It?s a single plywood unit that can act as a bed, home office, closet and storage space, and it changes configurations on command.

The furniture itself is simplistic in style, but it looks like a major space saver. For example, you can press Ori?s button to retract your bed (which comes in two sizes, full and queen), move the unit and turn your small home into one big living space for the day:

You can also command Ori via an app and make it do important tasks like deliver your wine:

Ori ? the brainchild of MIT professor Kent Larson, graduate student Hasier Larrea and designer Yves Béhar ? has been in development since 2015. Last week, the product became available for real estate developers to pre-order for their apartment buildings at a starting price of $10,000 a unit.

Right now, apartment renters can?t buy Ori for themselves, but the system will soon appear in units whose rents are around $3,000 per month in cities including New York, San Francisco and Chicago, TechCrunch reports. 

It?s a pretty penny, but it just might beat assembling Ikea furniture.

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10 People Who Deserve A Political Talk Show (Who Aren’t Bill Maher)

Bill Maher is the worst, and has been consistently the worst for decades. His cavalier use of the word n****r on his HBO show Friday night sparked outrage, and rightfully so, but it?s not like Maher hasn?t exhibited his tendency to say racist, sexist, transphobic and Islamophobic things in the past. 

His whole shtick, after all, is anti-political correctness with a seemingly ?liberal? bent, but this latest incident is a perfect example of how being ?liberal? doesn?t necessarily mean you can?t be racist. But as Afropunk writer Hari Zayed observed on Monday, people have suddenly decided to be outraged at Maher because ?white liberalism makes lightning-rod terms the problem in order to deflect from the structures beneath them.?

On Saturday, Maher issued an apology for dropping the n-bomb, but HBO has no plans to suspend or fire him. Which makes sense, because he?s a rich white man who has probably made the network a lot of money. But damn, there are so many people ? particularly people of color ? who would be funnier, more insightful, and far less obnoxiously smug in Maher?s time slot.

Below are just a few people who should have their own late night political talk show ? who definitely aren?t Bill Maher:  

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Allow The Funny Parents Of Twitter To Explain Father’s Day

The countdown is on for Father?s Day, which means presents, celebrations and funny tweets from parents.

Every year, the comical moms and dads of Twitter share their thoughts on the holiday, which include their takes on their kids? (mis)behavior on the big day and their ideas on what dads really want (spoiler: it?s silence). 

Here are 17 funny tweets about Father?s Day.

The HuffPost Parents newsletter, So You Want To Raise A Feminist, offers the latest stories and news in progressive parenting. 

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Putin: ‘We Don’t Care Who’s The Head Of The United States’

Russian President Vladimir Putin on Sunday rejected allegations that his country influenced last year?s U.S. presidential election, saying such an act ?wouldn?t make sense? and that he hadn?t seen ?any direct proof of Russian interference? that would have aided the election of Donald Trump.

Putin, in an interview on NBC?s new program ?Sunday Night,? with Megyn Kelly, fired back at assertions that Russia had meddled in the election, at times getting noticeably agitated with the line of questioning. At one point, he told Kelly Russia didn?t care who the American president was as the ?main political direction does not change,? regardless of who?s in charge.

?Presidents come and go, and even the parties in power change,? he said. ?That?s why, in the grand scheme of things, we don?t care who?s the head of the United States, we know more or less what?s going to happen. And so, in this regard, even if we wanted to, it wouldn?t make sense for us to interfere.?

Putin repeatedly rejected claims that Russian hackers had acted to help Trump win the election ? an assertion that has been substantiated by multiple U.S. intelligence agencies. Officials at those organizations have said Putin personally ?ordered an influence campaign? in an intelligence report ordered by former President Barack Obama.

?I haven?t seen, even once, any direct proof of Russian interference in the presidential election in the United States,? Putin told Kelly.

One of the most vehement denials during the interview, however, came when Kelly asked about a slew of meetings between members of the Trump campaign and Russia?s ambassador to the U.S., Sergey Kislyak. 

Trump?s former national security adviser Michael Flynn was forced to resign after he mischaracterized a meeting he had with Kislyak. In recent months, several other administration officials, including Attorney General Jeff Sessions and adviser Jared Kushner, have also come under increased scrutiny over their dealings with Kislyak. 

Putin denied that he had any knowledge of such encounters, at first telling Kelly that there ?were no meetings? before clarifying that he had not been informed because there was ?nothing to even talk about.?

?I?m being completely honest with you,? Putin said. ?I don?t know. The routine job of an ambassador ? do you think that from all over the world, or from the United States, the ambassador reports to me every day who he meets with or what they discuss there? That?s complete nonsense.?

?There wasn?t any kind of discussion about sanctions or anything else. You created a sensation out of nothing.?

The Russian president also declined to address reports that he was in possession of a secret dossier of compromising material on Trump, and said there was no ?special relationship? between the two men.

?There was a time when he used to come to Moscow,? he said. ?But you know, I never met with him. We have a lot of Americans who visit us.?

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